18 Years Ago: May 5th--Doula

I'm enjoying the ritual of daily writing and daily candle lighting. This evening I'm typing from the sofa, next to the burning candles. Normally we keep our candle by the window with a pair of photos from the fall of 2003, when Simon entered first grade and Miriam was in a fine arts preschool. It's the last matching pair of school photos for the two of them. Especially since Miriam is so gorgeously posed in this photo, it feels right to hold the two of them in time together this way.

Simon candle, May 5th

I've been adding other photos in slow accrual. By May 17th I'll have a crowd. Today I added a flip album that I put together for Simon in the summer of 2004. It has photos of many highlights in his life--special people and events. I made it to give him a way of remembering. Tonight the photo shows Simon around seven months old with Bonnie Marquis. Markus and I met Bonnie one evening when we went out for dessert after a concert. She was our waitress, and she noticed my pregnancy. She overcame some shyness and a sense of propriety to tell us she was in training to be a doula and looking for births to attend to complete her training. Markus and I had heard of doulas (birth assistants), and we liked the idea. We exchanged numbers, had a few careful conversations, and accepted Bonnie's offer. What a difference that encounter made...but I'm getting a little ahead of myself. When I returned to work part-time a couple months after Simon was born, Bonnie was Simon's wonderful nanny.

May 5, 1997: Again, I have no documented activities for this particular day, only guesses. We saw Bonnie regularly in the weeks leading up to Simon's birth. She had read midwifery texts about good birth practices, and she was articulate about the spiral of escalation that can occur with interventions in the natural birth process. Together we solidified plans and wishes for a natural birth. She planned to provide massage for pain relief during labor. She also provided it during these pre-birth visits! Bonnie attended one birth (her first) at the end of April, and it had involved several difficulties. Ours would be her second.

May 5, 2015: Today was a fairly normal day for us. Markus, Miriam and I bumbled around in the morning to get out the door. Miriam has the earliest departure at 7:15 am to get to first period at 7:50. Markus is the only one of us who functions alertly in the early morning. I am, alas, the slowest. I left for a 9:00-4:15 teaching day at a business college (the DHBW in Heilbronn). I'm a guest lecturer there in Business English about 30 full days per year. I heard and evaluated 12 presentations on various topics by my international class. Tomorrow will be another round of presentations. It has not escaped my attention that many of my students--currently first-year undergrads--are about a year older than Simon would be. Next year's incoming class will be his age peers.

On my way home, I stopped by the Stolperstein memorials we take care of to shine them up again (a previous post describes these plaques). I took a photo to show the neighborhood.

Stolperstein memorial plaques

Street view with Stolperstein location near fence.
Presumably the building where the Kahns lived
was on the spot that is now a green lawn.