Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Blogging in E-Prime

As a writer, I practice judicious use of the verb "be," partly out of cultivated habit and partly out of conviction that I express myself more precisely without using forms of "be." I learned the idea during a workshop with Brenda Miller at the 2005 Writers at Work conference. Brenda asked us to write for ten minutes about our earliest memory. Then she directed us to locate all the forms of "be." Can you replace these structures with something more evocative? she asked. "I was short" can become "I couldn't see over the kitchen counter."

The exercise works well as a revision technique, allowing me to let everything onto the page in exploratory drafts, including all forms of "be." For an early re-write technique, I can note the instances of "be" and consider options. Astonishing transitions can occur. Recently, I wrote the sentence, "I was mortified," in a childhood recollection. "Mortified" makes a strong impression, and I thought it might justify using "was" before it. But then I applied the "be" rule and pushed further. How does "mortified" feel? A fiery liquid squirts in my belly. My head twists frantically to see who might be watching. I draw inside and seal my clamshell tight. I run. My mouth goes dry. The "be"-less possibilities promise more sensual imagery.

As a teacher of writing, I encourage my students to work alertly with the verb "be," a practice that helps them identify ineffective use of the passive voice. This evening I talked about the idea over dinner with my husband, who also favors limiting "be" in writing. He tapped on my iPad and brought up the wikipedia entry for E-Prime. All these years of practicing the limitation and I had no idea it had a name and a considerable following.

Of course I have written this blogpost "be"-lessly (and not without some struggle). I found one "mistake" (see below). The "fixed" version drops three words, just from converting the "be" construction into an active verb. If you have a word limit, shaving a couple of words per sentence makes a difference.

Original draft:
This evening I talked about the idea over dinner with my husband, who is also a fan of limiting "be" in writing. (22 words, 111 characters with spaces)

"Be"-less text:
This evening I talked about the idea over dinner with my husband, who also favors limiting "be" in writing. (19 words, 106 characters with spaces)

Did I miss anything else?

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